8 Years, 10 Months & 25 days…

OK…those who know me best are like..”Oh no, here she goes again…complaining about Seattle…AGAIN!!”  Didn’t she only JUST complain about it ‘yesterday’?  YES!!  
BUT…and this is a BIG BUT…(ok ..let the laugh out..lets act like my triplets (ages 7, 5 & 4-since they are each 18 mo apart I call them triplets at times) who can go on and on about the word BUT).  Where was I??  Oh yeah..Seattle…(brain fart) (oh help..Sponge Bob is NOT my favorite show..I swear!)

Click Click Click (my ruby red slippers..ok they’re not red..they’re suppose to be white..before I wore them they were anyway) I am in Seattle..right…

 

Where was this going?? Oh..right..complaining…or NOT actually..thats my point now!! (NO!! I do NOT have ADD!) 

As my 9 year anniversary approaches…I have always dreaded each March 10th as it lurks around the corner of Dec 31st.  It only has to be right in the beginning of that month, teasing us that Spring starts soon..but its just looking like rainy eternal winter then.

BUT…THIS year!!! THIS year is going to be THE year!!!  I am going to celebrate it!! Embrace it!!!  Welcome it!!! I am going to let the whole world know (or at least those of you…who have a case of insomnia and needed to read Joy’s wordy wordpress blah blah blog..to bring the sandman just a few steps closer). 

 

I am TOTALLY changing my outlook on life here in Seattle.  Do I LOVE the rain now?  NO!!! NEVAHHH!!!  I think I grew up recently!!  Yes..again..those of know me now KNOW..I will NEVER “grow up” (vertically challenged and all)..or never grow “old”!  I refuse!!  BUT…I think God has been working in my heart and in my mind!!

I was always “woe is me”, my life is “so bad”!  Then I was talking to a friend of mine..in a similar situation..and we said, “What if God finally gives us what we want..and we end up back home with our family…and it’s NOT what we expected..and we actually HATE it there?”  Then what??  Wasn’t it Garth Brooks who said, “Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers”?  I am sure that there are many things that have lead me to this mature decision in my life.  I think maybe its the Beth Moore Bible study that I MADE myself take at church.  I think its talking to my friends who are in the same boat.  It’s nice to know you are NOT the only one missing family.  It may be the many times I look at my children’s lives, friends and activities.  I see how happy and content they are.  I see my baby who is happy to play with an empty box…or a pair of spoons and an upside down pot.  Why can’t I be happy and content just where I am?? Do I need my (extended) family to be happy?  Then it goes even further…do we need STUFF to be happy??  My kids are always happiest when we are just all together doing something that doesn’t require any of our “STUFF”.  Well, I guess this paragraph can be broken down into two summaries.  One being..that God DOES answer prayers, but in the way that HE knows best.  AND..the second being…that we do NOT need “STUFF” to make us happy. 

S0, in this study, I had a “lightbulb” moment.  WHAT…is the MAIN priority in MY life?  Yes, God & family of course.  BUT..what is my “job” here.  Why am I here?  In Seattle..its to be a friend and to be a Christ follower.  To be an example of Christ to ALL.  THAT is ESPECIALLY true of my kids.  ALL of a sudden..the lightbulb went off.  MY priority is….raising my children to be Christ-like.  Smart.  My goal is for them to grow into adults that we can be proud of.  THAT is all.  IF..I can keep my attentions and focus on THAT.  That is my main concern.  NOT…begging and pleading…with God to “make me happy” by moving me back home to where my family is.  Aren’t I the one who ALWAYS tells people..that I missed my family SO much that I made one of my own???  So ..what am I dwelling on the past for???  Why do I beg to go home on a daily basis??  God knows the desires of our hearts.  He also knows whats best for us.

 

When I look around me I am blown away by all that He has given us.  I would have never dreamed we would live in this great house, with great neighbors, who in turn became great friends.  I would have never thought I would not only find ONE great church to be a part of ..but then another great church that God has brought us to, to help us to grow more mature in him..AND be a part of our community alongside our new church.  He has brought the greatest of friends into our lives.  When I moved here I was SO stubborn that I said, “I am NOT going to make friends here…I refuse too!!” Oh yeah, Joy, thats REALLY mature!! How old are we??? 4 of our very first neighbors are STILL great friends to ud today…and one so great that we had to follow them to our new neighborhood..because we couldnt live without them!!!  Then at our church I again “refused” to make friends there.  Then God brings this woman all the way from “England” to sit by me..thinking that SHE is going to have ANY thing in common with me???  Wait what she eats at McD’s too??? She collects happy meal toys and LOVES coke???  LOL…God is good!

Just when I am NOT expecting it…God brings ANOTHER new great friend into our lives.  First neighbors who become substitute extended family.  Then friends from church…just when you feel like you will ALWAYS be the “new people” trying to fit in.  Then..when you see your kids making new friends.  God is so good.  

When those around you are losing their jobs, and although Mr. S (aka my hubby) isnt LOVING his job all the time…We need to THANK God that he STILL has it!!  God is good.

When people have family members or themselves with incurable diseases..and our kids are just stuffed up with colds.  We need to be thankful. God is good. 

 

So..its 3 am…no matter what it says on this post.  I once again should be sleeping.  This is therapeutic to me.  Yes…my thoughts are rambled and mangled together.  I have NEVER been a writer (kudos to Sally & Monica).  This basically becomes an online journal where I can vent or reflect on things. I wish I could do this more…but…I would either feel sorry for “boring” the confused or sleepy readers like you…OR…I just really rather spend the time reading.

 

SO…THIS…particular blog,  is just “Deep Thoughts” by JoyZ. 

 

Enjoy…and in the words of  Bobby McFarrin (no I didnt remember his name..YES I had to look it up..do I remember ANYone’s names ever? “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

 

Now the question is…do I publish this for all to see..and see that I am truly mental?? Or…just wander through life wondering who has happened upon it..yeah..that sounds like the better option. 

 

I hate to edit..so I probably wont…which makes it scarier…but..I will at least re-read it to see if I would classify myself as mental…LOL…or just brain-fryed at 3am??