Funny Things Kids Say # 4

“I want the RED one!”  ”Because its the color of BLOOD!!!” Yep that’s #4 my lil girlie girl…LOL…

Funny Things Kids Say-Today-#3

My #3 Man…          ”Mom why do kids always say, ‘Are we THERE yet?’” “If they would just look around, they would SEE that they aren’t THERE yet!”  Good point… 

My Crew – Last Fall

 

Last Year

I Should Be Sleeping…

Do all my blog writings happen to be on the subject of sleep?  I just LOVE the sound of nothing surrounding me when it is past midnight.  I have NO where to go in the morning, so I know I can sleep as long as I want.  You know how that goes though…the “Mommy” sleep.  
This is my impossible expectation of my “sleeping in”.  Close door, hope that an older kid wakes up, or at least #5 so that he can get cereal for #6.

How life REALLY pans out.  

8AM (NEVER before because I teach my kids the very most important # of ALL #’s!) the “8″.  

(Rule #1-NEVER even THINK of coming out of your room before 8AM!)

OK…8AM…KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK..NOT on my door, on the lil boys room.  They have a child safe lock that #5 hasnt learned how to open.  He use to let the baby out, and no one would know, where he was or what he was getting into.  #5 has learned that he can’t let him out anymore, and has asked us to remove the lock.  I have tried.  All you have to do is pull the 2 halves apart..right?  No, it wont come apart.  Must get my 5 yr old to do it, because its parent-proof besides toddler proof.  
SO, #5 has to go to the bathroom, the knocking has now woken up baby, who is always STARVING when he wakes up.  I quickly sweep him up into my arms, put him on the couch, in front of the “babysitter” (aka Satan-I mean TV) and grab a cup of cereal (has to be sugar kind or he screams..God forbid if its Cheerios!  He HATES them!) Get him a drink…HAS to be juice (which we ran out, so ice tea is like juice, almost the same color as apple cidar?) He HATES milk! (Whose the boss here?) I just want more SLEEP!  OK, 3 yr old is down to watch him…(yes I have an alarm, a watch dog, and safety locks on ALL exits!).  Time for more sleep.

830 #3 wakes up, and whatever he decides to do, whether computer game, video game,  TV, drums, (Whose idea was it to buy him drums?) he does EVERYthing LOUDLY!  He doesn’t get the meaning of the word QUIET!!  

830-900 Aprox every 5 minute at least 4 different children take turns coming in.  They ask random questions that have no pertinence until 10AM.  Finally #2 wakes.  Mommy Jr. She takes over. She gets every fed, involved in something that keeps them away from me, but then eventually loses patience by 10.

10AM…Mom, are you waking up?  I guess so.  I have heard everything from the entire cereal box of rice krispies (my most hated cereal spill) to the fighting over the remote.  

10AM is also when the rest of the world knows that Joy is hopefully awake.  The phone starts ringing, kids are hanging on me.  They are hungry, they have eaten waffles, cereal in a cup, and probably snuck in some otter pops too.  They are famished, they eat their 2nd breakfast and I slowly come to.

I know, I am a home schooling mother of many.  I should wake with the crack of dawn (sorry no dawn here, in the rainland), read my Bible, get dressed, make my bed, and have all their breakfast ready before they wake up.

I live in a constant state of realness.  To me, life is NOT pretending to be something that you are not.  Yes, I am a night owl.  Yes I like my sleep too, but in the morning hours.  No I do NOT milk a cow, and sometimes my devotions with God are reading my daily text messaged Bible verse from our local radio station while using (hiding out?) the bathroom.

What you see is what you get.  People think since I have been home schooling for 7 years that I am some kind of an expert.  I think I am an expert in the field of “what NOT to do as a home schooling family”.  

 

Life is craziness around here.  This past month we had #4 hooked up to an IV.  #3 with a mouth/gum/lip injury full of dirt and splinters that even the Dr and nurse didnt know how to deal with, and #1 who wants to break his fingers (who plays the electric guitar) riding his skateboard.

I LOVE my life, LOVE my kids, and LOVE the way I do things.  I do things MY way, with GOD’s help!

I have no idea if this writing even makes any sense.  As usual it is just a bunch of babbling & venting. 

But if it was any kind of worthy English Literature piece, it would not be found here on my blog.

Must go get some ZZZ’s now…So I can try and survive another crazy day in the life of Joy.  

Is This Stress or Lack of Sleep?

I don’t require lots of sleep.  I have this ability to keep going, going, going until I well, uh, want to kill somebody.  The one I almost “killed” yesterday?  Mr. Wednesday.  Who is that?  Well, one of my most favorite people that has ever crossed my paths used the days of the week as their “code word” for naming their children, so that they could discuss them when they were present.  Of course that only works if you have 7 or less kids, which in my case it works, and in my friend’s case, it currently works as she is at that lucky #7.

So OK Joy, get to the point.  Is this going to be one of Joy’s forever wordy writings?  Of course, or it wouldn’t be ME!  

First let me preface in saying, that I spent the past Sun-Tues determined to finish Book #4 in the Twilight Series.  Therefore, I make myself stay up as long as I can, so I can be a horrible Mom for 3 days instead of 7.  Sunday night I spend the evening preparing my oldest daughter for her first away camp.  She is excited and she re-reads over and over what she needs for camp.  We enjoy our alone time, getting things ready and packed.  It takes longer than expected and I start worrying that she is staying up too late when the next day will be busy for her.  She too requires little sleep, but then will end up having a huge meltdown.

The next morning we venture out.  Yes, it is always a challenge to get 6 kids out of the house and into the van.  I am use to it, I allow tons of extra time for ANY thing and EVERY thing that could possibly go wrong, or so I thought.  She needs to be there by 12 noon.  We are leaving at 11.  Maybe pushing it with the time.  BUT..we ended up with free tickets to the Mariners game at 7pm, and with gas prices as they are, I wasnt making 2 trips into Seattle that day and I didnt want to leave any earlier then I needed to.  We go to get in the car and Miss Thursday has poop on her shoes.  I want to yell at Mr Monday for not cleaning up the backyard, when someone informs me she wasn’t in our backyard, she got it in someone else’s.  I go to get her other sneakers, which are nowhere to be found. (Found them under the swingset being “cleaned” by the sprinkler system since then err).  I then resort to her converses, and that requires untying the entire shoe to make it fit, and then tying it back up, X2.  I know, not a biggie, this is just the beginning of “little things” that add up to one BIG BAD DAY!

On our way now.  Off to the bank to run to the ATM to get cash for parking.  I never carry cash.  Debit cards are the best invention.  So, I park run to the ATM, no deal.  ”Cannot process your transaction at this time”.  Try the 2nd machine…no deal.  Ugh…run inside….better not be a line.  ”Can I help you?”  I want to scream, “Give me my $ and no one gets hurt?”  They would probably misunderstand me and the police would be on the way.  I explain that I know there is $ in there.  I go on to explain that every two weeks when I order groceries online from Safeway, the Safeway people run my debit card through CA (their online headquarters) and then Bank of America puts a hold on my account because they deem it as “suspicious activity”.  Every two weeks for about a year now.  I get this phone call either from Safeway, saying my card wont go through, or my husband saying he couldnt buy gas!  I call BOA and tell them  my pathetic same ole, same ole story.  They transfer me to “management”, they put “notes” on my account.  Nothing works…every time, the hold gets put on.  I thought this time, maybe the “note” on my acct worked, because the card did work over the weekend, but as soon as you use it at the gas stations, that is what triggers “suspicious activity”.  Ugh, then the teller wants to be all “sweet and helpful” (which I dont have time for) and try to “fix” the problem.  JUST GIVE ME MY $.  Did I say I was in banking for 7 years??  I should be sympathetic right?  They are protecting my $  YES, FROM ME!!!  Which, if you asked my husband, may not be a bad thing???  

I get my $ and leave.  She said she couldn’t help me, really?  She says I have to call the 800#.  Really?   Every two weeks.  SO, we are off.  Now my oldest son, Mr Monday, who insists on believing that the world revolves around him, and all that pertains to him is a priority.  He can NOT find his Ipod adapter. I say LOOK around!  He is throwing things around, making a mess of the already huge pile of “stuff” that ALL had to be by the driver’s seat in a 12 passenger van!  Meanwhile I am spending my entire trip on the cell phone, getting my hold released so that my husband and I can be FREE to use our OWN $.  Of course after going through the prompts…Do I want to speak English or Spanish, I like to use Spanish, even though all I know I have learned from Dora.  I decide to stick with English (when I am up for a challenge I choose Spanish in the Wal Mart when doing self checkout LOL).  Then 1 million prompts later, and giving all my security (family tree info?) to the CSR, they say, we can’t help you, let me transfer you, no really?  I just explained that to them.  Do they not think I know what I am talking about?  

SO, when driving into Seattle (which I can do with my eyes closed), I say to Mr M. “Hand me the directions for the campus.”  (We are going to the U Dub (I like typing it that way).  THere they are, all the directions that I already know, but no directions to the Hall that she needs to be dropped off at.  I said, “I know that I printed them, keep looking!”  No luck, why do I ever depend on anyone BUT me to look for something.  I am driving though so I cant look!  I get to the gate where I think I should be.  I ask the girl where to go, she explains and I think I hear her right.  I don’t!  My kids were screaming in the background, or should I say MR M and Mr W who have to fight during every waking moment of their lives!  I drive around hoping to see a cheerleader somewhere and find it on my own.  I tell Mr M to read the campus map and help me find where we are going.  He can’t find it.  I start reading it while driving, and almost crash into another car who is being “nice” and letting pedestrians cross.  Oh yea, I guess its the law.  I had to slam on the breaks, have a heart attack and get slammed in the arm by Miss T bag that just HAD to be right next to the driver’s seat!  It hurt, probably not as much as it would if I were sitting at home, but I was feeling stressed and it started the tears.  I NEVER cry, ok, maybe not NEVER, but rarely!  I am now crying and driving, I go back to the young girl in the booth and she looks at me like I am crazy!  ( I think I am now) I tell her, I must have misunderstood and wasnt sure where to turn right.  She explains it again, and I turn around.  We get there, get everyone out.  We walk in and check her in.  

We get (still figuring out the fonts) to the elevators.  I have 7 kids with me, since Miss T couldnt go to the Mariners game we brought an extra kid in her place.  The elevator is not coming, we attempt the steps, leave stroller at the bottom, and climb one flight.  You need a key, she has one, it doesnt work.  Everyone back down.  Go to one elevator, get on.  It moves, but doesnt go to floor 3.  It only goes down to “hell” (this is what we called it).  We ended up in the basement, the only place the elevator would go.  The door open button does not work except in “Hell”.  I tell them we have to call for help.  We call, they say we are coming.  The kids think its FUN!  I have to go pee, and I have 7 kids on an elevator.  I tried to make it be fun, take their picture, saying this is a first for us.  Meanwhile, I HATE to be LATE or LOST!  I am always on time, and I NEVER get LOST!!!  SO, I am angry.  I know Miss Tuesday is worried, she nervous, her first time being away without family, she does NOT want to be late!  So, the doors finally open, guess someone needed the elevator and it came back to them.  I told them “Don’t get on! We just spent 10 min in the elevator and couldnt get out!”  I go to the front desk and they tell me, you need to use the key to make the elevator work.” I said ” you could have told us!” They said, “We did.” OK, I give them the benefit of my doubts and decide to try again.  Meanwhile another lady is “stuck”.  Says the elevator doesn’t work.  I explain that she needs to use the key, she says “They never told me that!” Hmmm…. We finally get to floor 3, there is no room 354.  Finally someone explains, there are two towers and we are on the wrong side of the bldg. Thanks for telling us..front desk people!  So off to the other bldg.  Up the elevator again, FINALLY we are there.  There are no time for long good-byes, besides my boys are running a muck, and I am pretending that I dont know whose kids they are.  Mr M and Mr W are fighting STILL!!!  Miss Tuesday says “No one cares to say Good bye” I tell her, that her sister and I care, and the boys just are being boys.

We are off again.  Mission Accomplished…My lil girl is a big girl going ” off to college at age 8″!  So, now to waste time in Seattle so we dont have to go home.  I sign my son up for a child study team at the UW.  May as well donate their brains to science in our spare time.  We hang out for 1 1/2 hours while he shares his brain with them.  He gets $25, I get a headache from trying to keep everyone happy for that time period.  They actually did really well, and I bribed them with a trip to the International Fountain.  We never went.  I decided my boys needed a punishment and that was a good one for their fighting the entire trip into Seattle.  

I decide to go to Safeco Field 2 hours early.  We would find parking and eat a snack.  We get into the “Safe” (is that what Seattlites call it?) and wait.  The kids have fun walking to the very top.  We meet up with some friends, and enjoy the game.  I notice that Miss Thursday is coughing more than the previous night and debate letting her sit next to her best friend, we dont want to share germs!  They decide to share a snow cone…great.  In fact by the time the cone is gone, most of us did.  I didnt think too much of it, must just be a cold coming on.  While sitting there Miss Tues’s coach calls.  ”Did I pack a water bottle?  She can’t find it”.  No, I didnt.  How many times did we read that list?  How did we forget!?!  Anyway, I explain that we are STILL in Seattle, so can we drop one off? Yes.  OK, so the game is a bit lame, they are losing by 6, not a surprise if you know the Mariners.  I say to Mr Sunday (my husband) that maybe we should leave, the big kids are just roaming the stadium to find more things to waste $ on.  We can bring Miss Tues her water bottle and get home at a decent time.  So we leave at the 7th inning stretch.  We get to the pkg garage, and here the crowd ROAR.  What just happened?  We have the radio on and its a grand slam!  Of course, hasn’t everything gone wrong today?  We are driving in the van and listening to the game, 7 runs in the 7th inning.  Figures, probably the best game of the season and we leave.  Oh well, we are Yankee fans anywayz.  Off to the UW.  We stop at 2 stores, one is closed the other has no water bottles.  We have a whole case in the van, so we decide to give her 2.  We find the bldg we need to go to, I KNOW how to get there now!  Security was pretty tight, which impressed me.  There were 2 other parents “lost” not knowing where to go to drop off things for their daughters and I was able to help them to the right bldg. Now to drop Mr S off at work to get his motorcycle and then home.  FINALLY!  Of course he takes the long way, and we take ages to get home.  Finally home at 11pm, 12 hours later.  

Time for sleep.  Sometime during the night, Miss Thursday comes in, she is burning up.  Great.  Not a biggie…Mr W had a 106 fever last week, it must be her turn.  I give her Tylenol, she throws it up.  Been there before..OK ..I can deal with this. I pray that her sister stays healthy at camp.  They not only sleep in the same room, but end up in the same twin bed most nights!

For the next 48 hours she doesn’t eat, barely sips, will not take Tylenol cause she thinks it makes her vomit.  She says yes to suppositories because she wants to feel better.  Finally Thurs night as she walks from one couch to the chair, I try to talk to her, and she just gives me blank stares like she is sleep walking.  A bit scary, this is not OK, I tell Mr S that its time to go to the Urgent Care.  We attempt to give her an otter pop, she eats an inch of it, throws it up outside.  We go to the Issaquah UC since its open 24 hours.  As soon as we get there, she throws up in her bucket in the pkg lot.  We go inside, wait for the ONE Dr, with only one person ahead of us, get xrays, anti-nausea meds and a suppository.  They attempt to give her gatorade 1 tsp, every 10 min.  She keeps it down, they are hoepful and send us home 2 hrs later with a script for more anti-n meds.  We wait 20 min at Walgreens in Issaquah.  Sitting in  a parking lot at almost midnight just waiting…we are lucky we didnt fall asleep there.  We give her a few more sips she keeps it down.  She falls asleep. I “attempt” to carry her in.  I am NOT use to carrying my 5 yr old, She only weighs 30 but to me she is long and heavy.  I throw off my flops and step into the mud room into the house.  Watch OUT! I fall with her in my arms!  We crash heads together as we fall, and we both cry!  Second time in a week, hmmm whats wrong with me…I have a bruise on my cheek from hitting her head, and a bigger one on my knee where I crashed on the floor.  Good thing I wasnt a burgler, cause NO one heard the big crash downstairs followed by our wailing tears.

Off to bed.  Next morning Thurday.  Time to pick up Miss Tues from camp and see her final performances, this time my neighbor friend aka substitute family says she will come to help and support Miss Tuesday.  SO grateful for the family I have found in our friends, my kids get to have their new “Aunties and cousins” come to see them at their special performances.  Again, I dont want to be late, I have a lathargic Miss Thurs who doesnt want to move.  I have to carry her everywhere, I should be going to the ER, bit I am off to the UW…again.  Of course hubby has MOST important meeting of “ALL time” and I am on my own.  We get to the UW, I run to the front desk of the Hall she was staying at, to ask where we are suppose to go.  They have NO clue..SO..its drive time, I see a woman who looks sporty, could she have something to do with the cheer camp?  She says she saw cheerleaders down at the field, not that I know where that is, but it makes sense to me.  She gives awesome directions and we finally get there.  We are only 15 min late, and the girls are just sitting on the field.  YEAH we didnt miss anything.  We finally get our troops to the field and find out we DID miss something..I just CANT win!  Another mark for Loser Mom of the year…ugh…dont feel bad for me..its my way of beating myself up.  She is excited to see us and her “extended family”.  Its a beautiful day, and we sit on the sidelines to watch.  I attempt to get closer to record Miss Tues in her “glory” when my friend comes over and says, you need to go “kill your kids” before some stranger does.  I switch spots with her, go back to where the boys are, there are pieces of crumbled up donuts EVERYwhere surrounding the baby stroller.  Mr W with the help of Mr F took all our remaining donuts and was making a MESS!  Of course they are chocolate, melting in the sun, on the astroturf (pretend grass) I attempt to “KILL” my 6 yr old (Mr W) in public without being arrested!!  I squeeze his arm SO hard, that I am surprised it didnt split in 1/2.  I “slam” him gently against the fence, and tell him he’s punished “forever”.  I put my 3 yr old in the other stroller in a “punishment chair” which works for him.  I attempt for the next 10 min to clean up the mess and miss my daughter’s special day. I try to explain to my 6 yr old that his one sister is having her special day, and he is ruining it, and that his other sister is VERY sick, and that I dont need THIS right now!  Supposedly one spectator got hit by a piece of our donuts.  Errr…I will punish them from donuts our next time.  We usually eat them on the way to church every Sunday, its our new tradition, so that we can get food into them while driving, since we never have time for breakfast.  

Miss Tuesday is finally done.  We attempt the traffic to get to her dorm, luckily I have an adult who can drive, and we walk while she deals with traffic.  Miss Tuesday takes us to the wrong bldg…AGAIN! We dont have a key for the elevator and have to follow other cheerleaders to get to where we need to be.  Finally her coach calls and was like are you coming?  Of course we took forever getting to the car pushing two strollers, and then having kids who need to pee when we want to LEAVE!!! Errr…I hate that!  Meanwhile I am getting REALLY scared for Miss Th who is lifeless.  I am trying to not be rude and push through lines of cheerleaders to get in and out of the dorms asap.  We get out, we get out of the traffic and we are on our way.  Everyone is starving and we debate getting food or going straight to the ER.  I find out our local Urgent Care (Covington) does IV’s and I give all my remaining kids to my friend and take Miss TH in.  

We get in pretty quickly.  They want to get her records transferred from Issaquah so we have to wait for a while.  By the time we got the IV it was an hour.  They gave her a bag, and she just laid there and slept.  I read to her “Charlotte’s Web” since the previous night at the UC I thought I was going to go crazy from boredom.  It was more for me than for her.  I hate feeling useless.  I keep trying to converse with her to get her to respond.  I am showing her pics on my cell phone..and show her the funny pic of Mr Saturday doing “MUSCLES” …she SMILES!  WOW the first time since Monday!  Then she starts to talk, and never stops.  AHhh…she’s back!  I know I had people praying..but if I could get an IV set up at home, and it would make my kids feel better than quickly..WOW..I was impressed!  She finally pees in a cup and we go home.  She wants to play, she rides scooters she eats a popsicle.  I told her she needed to slow down and not eat so fast, or play so hard.  I bring her in early and we hang out with big sis in their room to talk about camp.  THIS is what life is all about.  Just hanging with my healthy kids.  Be THANKFUL JOY!!  My husband reminded us all, that maybe it was not “bad luck” following us that day.  He looked at the good things (he is usually the pessimist!).  He said things like, “You DIDNT crash into that car on the UW campus, you DIDNT get stuck in the elevator longer, the Mariners could have lost!

So my Miss Tues shares with me her camp expericence.  She starts telling me the negative things first. She explains on how she was too young to be there.  She didnt know how to wake up so early.  ( I hate myself for not remembering an alarm clock).  She says one day she and her roommate get left behind because they didnt wake up time, and had to find their way by themselves.  She says another time they were in a lunch room and they all left without telling her and another girl.  They had to find their way on their own again.  She says that she doesnt shower like the rest of the girls, they have to shower every day, and they take forever showering, she said she was SO “different” because she didnt have to wash as long and she didnt shave her legs.  LOL..it was hard not to laugh, I said you are ONLY 8!  She said her hair looked ugly everyday because she couldnt do it herself.  I think she does her hair awesome every day!  She said she felt lonely.  I had sent her with a surprise to open every morning but she forgot to open it, it had a photo album that I made up for her that she never saw, she said she was glad she didnt see it because it would have made her cry.  She told me she lost her $20 and was afraid that I would get mad.  I asked her why she didnt buy anything there, and she said she lost it when she was walking to go buy something.  She was sad because other girls earned “spirit” sticks and she didn’t, I explained that she is new, and that these things will come in time, and it gives her an incentive to work harder. Oh well, I told her we learn from these mistakes and it will be better next year.  She wasnt excited about going again.  Her overall impression was that maybe she was too young to handle it,  I told her that she is very mature for her age and is the one 8 yr old who can handle taking care of this entire family on her own when mommy is sick.  I told her this was a great experience to learn how to handle things on her own. So I used my brains and said to her, well what DID you like about camp?  She said she loved learning new stunts!  She said that she finally got to know the squad better.  She said she was impressed with one of the younger girls being so friendly to others, trying to make the new ones feel more at ease.  She said that the sister squad was SO friendly to her and said she couldnt believe how nice they were.  

So here we are Friday with “nothing” to do.  I am wasting time on the computer typing this.  I have the same outfit on from 3 days ago, cause I have been too tired to change at night!  I need a shower, or a long hot bath.  Kids are zoned in front of the TV, and the baby is running free throughout the house as happy as can be.  Miss Th is begging to play with friends, back to her normal self.  PTL!  Our busy schedule is attempting to slow down, we have only 3 full weeks of summer left.  I have learned that although I thrive on being busy, that maybe my kids personalities and even their health cannot always handle it.  I have learned that it is OK to do “nothing” sometimes, and just enjoy being together as a family at home. 

 

I am not proofreading..as always.  I have already bumped the plug and turned the computer off just as I was about to finish this…and almost had a heart attack wondering if I lost an hours worth of typing.  So, there..I have written in my blog for the 3rd time..now maybe I can share it.  Enjoy?? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm….

Ah Hah!!!  I got the slanted thing going on here..and the BOLD thing too!  Let’s see…I made a post before..but never found it…..yet.  If it’s here somewhere..sorry if I am saying the same thing twice.  First, warning…I like to use a LOT of …………………….  My husband hates it!  I tend to type the way I talk.  With NO breaks..no breaths in between.  I am good at grammar.  I know how to use it.  I know how to teach it.  I do NOT like to use it in my emails….unless I HAVE to.  And when do I have to??  I guess when I want to look intelligent OR look my age.  My emails start to look like a teenager on text messaging.  I tend to be WORDY (who me??) and therefore resort to text lingo…so…TTYL and BRB….

Hello world!

Hmmm…I think I am editing this “first post”.  Thought I already did a “first post”??  Hmmm…let’s see if just random typing about nothing helps….

 

Let’s see…it rained WAY too much today, yesterday, this week..and tomorrow.  What…can I see into the future?  Nah….I just know…the sun doesn’t shine here….